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The top five crappy car gifts you’re most likely to receive this christmas

25 December 2014

Every year, us car enthusiasts seem to somehow get the raw end of the deal when it comes to Christmas. All year we go without buying clothing, and other such luxury items, in the hope that on Christmas day we will receive some of these niceties. Instead, our beloved families, partners, and friends shower us with terrible gifts. Just because we are car enthusiasts doesn’t mean we want fluffy dice or Playboy seat covers, so we decided to write a list of things we hope you didn’t end up with when you tore off that wrapping paper this morning.

1: Fluffy dice, handcuffs, or any such item that hangs from the rear-view mirror.

Ok, so first of all, don’t buy any item that hangs from something inside the vehicle. Fluffy dice? They’re just embarrassing; handcuffs, seriously? We aren’t sure if all you are wanting is for us to look extra badass whilst driving our performance cars, but these items don’t help. You want to buy something for a car enthusiast’s interior? Scope out what his favourite brand of performance gauges are and buy one that they are lacking; perhaps a boost gauge or oil pressure for example. Do they have all of the gauges required already? Easy! Purchase some car audio for them; an amp, some speakers, or even a quality head unit.

2: Leopard skin steering wheel covers and Playboy seat covers

Nothing says I love you like a new steering wheel cover or a nice new set of Playboy seat covers to jazz up your interior … No Nardi steering wheel looks good with a steering wheel cover, and no Bride or Recaro seat looks good with a Playboy seat cover. We still can’t work out why these items are even made available to the general public. Do you want a clever idea for another interior enhancement for cheap? Google search the make and model of the car they own and see what size interior lights the car has. Head to your local car-part retailer and purchase some LED replacement bulbs. A very simple and instantly recognizable upgrade over the factory items.

3: Car care kit complete with sponge

So they got you a care care kit, great! Wash and wax, and a sponge, all for $10 — just what you want to be cleaning your performance car that you’ve just spent $4000 on for a new paint job. Instead of purchasing one of these kits for your car-enthusiast friend, buy them a good-quality microfibre sponge instead. Skimping on car wash is the last thing you want to do on your pride and joy, plus cheap sponges trap dirt easier and are more prone to scratching your clear coat. A microfibre sponge is less harsh on your paintwork, and please, let the car owner decide on what car wash they want to use as every person has their preference.

4: Bobble-head dog and family stickers

The last thing a car enthusiast wants to see in his rear-view mirror, or on his parcel tray, is a bobble-head dog, or family stickers. A stick-figure guy doing weights on my window? I don’t think so. The only thing I want to see is tyre smoke, a nice racing C-pillar bar, or a GT wing.

5: Those crappy $10 socket sets

Have you ever received one of those cheap and nasty $10 or less three-eighths socket sets from your loved ones? We have, and we’ve tried them out too. These socket sets aren’t even good enough to take apart your interior. The ratchet’s heads are loose, the sockets don’t fit properly, and the ratchet handle has no grip. When a good-quality socket set with a similar amount of components costs more than 10 times the price, you know there’s something fishy going on.